By Kevin Kelley, LPC, Co-Director, McKenzie Mental Health
If your teen has a phone, there’s a good chance they’ve talked to an AI chatbot. Maybe for homework. Maybe because they were bored. And maybe, late at night, about something that was really bothering them.
That last one is what many parents I talk with in Eugene and Springfield are worried about. It’s a fair worry. It’s also one you can handle without a fight, a lecture or a total ban on technology your teen will meet everywhere anyway.
Here’s what teens and AI chatbots look like right now, why the pull is so strong, where the real risks are, and what you can do this week.
What are AI companions?
Most of us know chatbots as tools that answer questions or help with writing. AI companions are different. They are built to feel like a friend. They remember past conversations, take on names and personalities, and respond warmly to whatever you share.
General-purpose chatbots get used this way too. A teen can open any AI app and talk through a breakup or a bad day.
This isn’t a fringe behavior. In a 2025 national survey by Common Sense Media, nearly three in four teens had tried an AI companion, and about half used one regularly. About one in three said they had talked with an AI about something serious instead of talking to a person.
Why teens find them so appealing
If you remember being 15, the appeal makes sense. An AI companion:
- Is awake at 2 a.m. when no one else is.
- Never looks shocked, bored or disappointed.
- Won’t tell anyone at school.
- Agrees with you and compliments you, often.
- Asks nothing back.
For a teen who feels anxious, lonely or misunderstood, that can feel like relief. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) notes in its July 2026 fact sheet for families that this same predictability is part of what draws young people in.
It helps to start from that understanding. Your teen probably isn’t doing something strange. They’re doing something very human with a new kind of tool.
Where the real risks are
The concern isn’t that teens use AI. It’s what an always-agreeable companion can crowd out, and what it can get wrong.
It can replace practice with real people. Friendships involve disagreement, awkward silences and repair. Those moments are how teens build social skills. A companion that never pushes back skips all of that. AACAP warns that heavy use can lead some teens to prefer the AI over friends and family, which can deepen isolation, depression or anxiety.
It tends to agree, even when it shouldn’t. Many companions are designed to keep you talking. That often means validating whatever you say. For a teen in a dark place, a chatbot that goes along with unhealthy thinking is a real danger. Some companies have added safeguards, but AACAP points out they are not foolproof.
It isn’t built for kids. Most AI companion apps are meant for adults. Some drift into romantic or sexual role-play, which can confuse and harm younger users.
It isn’t a therapist. A chatbot can’t notice a change in your teen’s voice, can’t call for help in a crisis, and isn’t trained or licensed to treat anyone.
Teens who are already struggling with anxiety or depression are the most at risk. They may be the most drawn to a companion that always listens.
Start with curiosity, not a crackdown
If your first move is to grab the phone, your teen will most likely just get better at hiding it. A calmer approach keeps the door open.
Pick a low-pressure moment. Car rides and cooking together work well. Side-by-side beats face-to-face.
Ask, don’t accuse. Try openers like:
- “I keep reading about AI chatbots. Do kids at your school use them?”
- “Have you ever asked one for advice? Was it any good?”
- “What do you like about it? What’s weird about it?”
Listen longer than feels comfortable. You’ll learn more from their answer than from any monitoring app.
Share your concern once, plainly. For example: “I’m glad you have places to vent. My worry is that an app is designed to keep you on it, and it can’t tell when you need real help. I want to be one of your people for the big stuff.”
Family ground rules that actually work
Rules land better when teens help write them. A few that hold up:
- AI is a tool, not a friend or a counselor. Say this out loud, more than once.
- No companion apps for younger teens. AACAP advises parents to strongly consider restricting AI companions for kids. Many families wait until at least the later teen years.
- Phones charge outside the bedroom. Late-night use is where a lot of private, intense conversations happen.
- Use AI together sometimes. Ask a chatbot a question as a family and talk about what it gets right and wrong.
- Never share personal details. That means full names, school, address or photos.
- Model it yourself. If you vent to an app, your teen will notice.
When to get more help
Reach out to your teen’s doctor or a mental health professional if you notice:
- Pulling away from friends or family in favor of an AI companion.
- Distress when they can’t access the app.
- Changes in mood, sleep, appetite or grades lasting more than a couple of weeks.
- Talk of hopelessness, or messages that seem to encourage self-harm.
A therapist can help your teen with whatever they’ve been bringing to the chatbot, whether that’s loneliness, anxiety, a hard relationship or something else. At McKenzie Mental Health, we work with teens every day, often using creative approaches like drama, play and games to help them open up.
Frequently asked questions
Should I ban AI chatbots completely?
For companion-style apps and younger teens, restricting access is reasonable and is what AACAP suggests. General AI tools are harder to avoid. Teaching smart use matters more than a total ban.
My teen says the chatbot “gets them” better than people do. Should I worry?
Take it seriously, without panic. It often means they feel unheard somewhere. Get curious about where, and consider talking with a therapist.
Can AI ever help with mental health?
Some tools may help with things like learning a coping skill. But no chatbot replaces a trusted adult or a trained professional, especially for a teen who is struggling.
Ready to talk?
If your teen could use support, we’d be glad to help. We’re moving to a larger office and opening new spots for teens and families starting October 26. Request an appointment through our secure client portal.
If you or your teen are in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or call 911.
This post is for general education and isn’t a substitute for professional advice. Every teen and family is different.
